Election 2024? Bingo!
Labor Day has come and gone, which means the 2024 presidential campaign is in full swing. I'm game. Are you?
Labor Day unofficially represents the last day of summer, celebrated with backyard barbecues from coast to coast, plus Alaska and Hawaii. For kids, it’s a dreaded day, that final break between the ease of summer and the unhappy routine of school. And for all of us, Labor Day represents a horrible, horrible demarcation line. Within 24 hours we will be subject to the amping up of that quadrennial runaway train crashing into a tire fire next to the leaky nuclear waste plant built on a toxic swamp located within a few hundred yards from the orphanage that we call “presidential elections.”
The presidential campaigns are done warming up. They’re now blasting away, full throttle, bombarding us with reams of unwanted mailers, emails and texts, television and radio ads, paid social media posts, and nonstop back and forth candidate accusations supported and/or damned by partisan cheerleaders brazenly displaying their biases on cable “news” networks.
This year’s election is proving to be a weary slog that only gets worse with each passing day. How can we withstand the nonstop barrage between now and what will inevitably be a long day followed by an even longer night on Tuesday, November 5, 2024?
We’ll do it the same way Americans have been surviving political battles for nearly 250 years, by gum. We’ll make fun of the whole kerfuffle, using every tool at our disposal.
Right? Left?
Bingo!
Yes, my dear readers, allow me to present Election 2024 Bingo. Print out the following bingo cards1, then check off a square every time it matches something election-related fomenting via the orthicon tube or other media device. Fill up a row and bingo! You win. I win. The country wins.
Let’s hope so, anyway.
Card #1
Card #2
Thanks for reading The Typewriter's Collage. Connect with me at Twitter/X, Bluesky, Threads, and Instagram at the handle @RealArnieB. I’m on LinkedIn and Facebook under my real name. Plus, check out my newly-redesigned and updated website, www.arniebernstein.com.
Useful Links:
Why should I have all the Election Year fun? Create your own election campaign bingo cards, free of charge.
Everything you need to know about voting in this year’s election.
No bunnies were harmed in the creation of The Typewriter’s Collage
yet. But you can become part of a Civil War reenactment group.
Fill the metaphorical bingo card that is the comment section of the Typewriter’s Collage. Your contributions could win valuable bingo prizes.2
And because you made it this far, here’s your bonus content.
Bingo, the beloved drum-playing sweet-natured gorilla from late 1960s cheesy Saturday morning kids’ show The Banana Splits becomes Bingo, the fiendish killer in a really bad 2019 horror film version of said TV program.
Unlike regular bingo cards, these cards have no “free space” at the center. Remember, elections represent freedom and freedom isn’t free, nor does it have a free space.
Just kidding. I can give you tissue paper and a comb to make a homemade harmonica, but that’s it.